Garage sale (dopey robot)

A few things were purchased for the home: new entertainment appliances, sports equipment, lawn care devices. He recognized that he still had plenty of working objects yet were now rendered obsolete, at least by his needs and those that manufactured the accessories and content delivery for all these shiny new items. He advertised on craigbotlist that he’d be having a garage sale and not to contact him with any offers.

On the day of the sale, wondering if he should feel guilt about selling the dinner plates his inlaws bought for him a decade ago but the family has used once, he noticed a misshapen cylinder at the bottom of his driveway. For a quick moment he wondered if something had rolled from the garage and into the street, but the cylinder was inching up its way, pushed by a cog connected by several tubes. “Oh good, a DEAL!” is what he heard, and he realized that he was watching a robot’s head and heart cog make its way to his garage sale.

The head and heart cog wasted no time. Anything nearby was ensnared by its extending tubes. The weedwacker, the baseball glove, a broom that was in the garage yet not for sale, a dual tape deck with high speed dubbing (one of the tape lids had fallen off), and the lawnmower. The head never acknowledged him, only commenting on each appliance as “ooh, this looks good,” “now I don’t have to wait for one of these to be delivered,” “much cheaper than the other guy down the street.”

He raised his hand with his index figure in the “just one moment” manner, but by then the head and heart cog had already turned around, its new arms pushing and steering the lawn mower base down the driveway. “I made out like a BANDIT!” said the head.

He wasn’t upset and didn’t call the police. He ended the garage sale an hour after the posted time because a neighbor had brought over some Energon and they talked about the latest local sports activity on TV the night before. A few other things had sold, he would have to donate the rest or leave it at the curb for the garbage bots to pick up. He went back inside to watch entertainment on his new entertainment devices.


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